I was sure that they would want their son back.Mom was very clear, she said that much as she loved Tom, she had beenable to connect much more directly with Jen. If I went back to beingTom, she hoped that she would not lose that closeness. Dad got himselfcomfortable on the fence and would not be budged. He said that he lovedboth Tom and Jen and would not make any choices.My conversations with Rose were interesting. She asked me so manyquestions. What did I feel when I made love to Sam as Jen? How did Ifeel making love now as Tom? How comfortable was I in women's clothes?How did I feel when men looked at me? How did I feel about my boobs? DidI enjoy the pleasure that they gave me? What were orgasms like as Jen?How did I feel when Mike kissed me? How would I feel about being aphysically and sexually diminished Tom? How would I feel as a maleknowing that I had no balls and needed to rely on testosteronesupplements the rest of my life? How would I cope with being less of aman's man? Now. The authorities were contacted, people searched, the punk bowl tested. Three cups had drugs placed in them, the punch was fine.Why had I gotten one of the cups?I felt nauseous the whole night. The drug had apparently affected my brain as well. I felt like I had ADD, I couldn't keep my mind focused on something for more than twenty seconds. I actually timed it, and then thought about the fact that I was timing my thoughts for a little bit before my mind jumped to something else.I actually thought about everything. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Johannesburg, South Africa. Danny's parents and my parents being best friends. Danny and I. Danny by himself. Danny was a recurring though. Scott. Scott and Emily. Maddie and Brad. The girls. The guys. Houston, Texas. Des Moines, Idaho. Gossip Girl, a book by Cecile Van Zeegar about the fabulous and fabulously screwed up lives of Upper East Side WASPy teenagers.I eventually fell asleep thinking about ice cubes.I woke up almost two days.
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